


it'sheynoon3

by Kirisame_Drive



Series: tittybamf tales [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Barbecue, F/F, F/M, Funny, How Do I Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 20:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8259382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirisame_Drive/pseuds/Kirisame_Drive
Summary: Holy fuck here I go with this tittybamf shit again (do cowboys like bbq….. pleas feed mccree he’s hungry) ft. not jealous hanzo (he's jealous)





	

The rhythmic chopping of vegetables was almost musical, matched by the rising whistling of a boiling kettle. Hanzo Shimada, ninja warrior extraordinaire, was busily working away in the kitchen, cutting a mixture of vegetables and gathering them into several bowls. He worked diligently, washing his hands often, wiping down on the apron he wore. He was still unaccustomed to cooking for big groups. Well, cooking in general. He had never worried about learning how to, as the first born of the Shimada Clan. After the fall of his family and organization, he managed to survive on what little he learned from his training (muscles are built in the kitchen, his Master would often say), but it didn’t take him very far. His dishes were bland at best, nothing but char at worst. But they were healthy (or so he reassured himself), loaded with greens and tubers. 

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Hanzo looked up from the chopping board to see Jesse McCree leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. He sported a plaid button up shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. His classic cowboy look. What caught Hanzo’s attention the most was his smile. It was sly, as if he had cooked up another of his cheesy one liners. “He’s come to tease me.” Hanzo deducted. Jesse stepped into the kitchen, making his way to Hanzo. He looked down at the vegetables Hanzo had prepared, smile widening even more. 

“I know they are uneven.” Hanzo spoke first, keeping his composure. “I figured it wouldn’t matter too much since they’re not part of the main dish.”

“Awe darlin’ you can’t be giving up so soon!” McCree swiped a piece of carrot from the bowl in which Hanzo had accumulated the cut vegetables, taking a bite out of it. “It was your idea to do this, remember? Can’t be skippin’ out on all the hard work now.”

Yes, it had been his idea to cook for the event. He wasn’t in the best mindset at the time- sake will do that to you- but he was a man of his word. He would get the task done, even if it cost him some dignity.

“Where did you get this?” McCree held one of the strings from the apron in his fingers. “I gotta say darlin’ pink is quite becoming on you.”

“It’s a present from Hana.” Hanzo stepped away, his face beginning to burn bright. “Once she heard I would be cooking dinner, she gave it to me.”

“Was she afraid you’d burn your chest?” McCree teased with a smile, to which Hanzo’s face grew even redder. McCree chuckled, turning and waving to Hanzo. “Okay, I’ll let you get back to yer cookin’!”

“Don’t forget this is a group effort, McCree” Hanzo exclaimed, stopping McCree on his tracks. “You also have to meet your end of the deal.”

“Darlin’ is that a pun?” McCree turned, smile still wide. “Don’t worry about the barbeque, I got it all under control. Apron and all.” 

McCree turned back, walking out of the kitchen, rushing back to his room. Hanzo shook his head and continued to chop vegetables. He was stopped by the rapid stomping of feet, looking back to the kitchen entrance. McCree reappeared, striking a powerful pose. His outfit was the same, except now an apron covered his chest. It was black, but in big, red, embroidered letters read “Kiss the Cook.” He looked into Hanzo’s eyes, his own sparkling with confidence. 

“What do you think, darlin’?” McCree’s voice lulled, striking another pose. “Jealous of my apron? Or perhaps getting some ideas?”

“Yeah, I have an idea alright.” Hanzo responded, hardly containing a laugh. “I think I might vomit. You’re not actually going to wear that, are you?”

Now it was McCree’s turn to turn red, Hanzo’s laugh cutting deep. “Of course I will!” McCree now stood with arms open, displaying the apron in full. “Are you really telling me this isn’t the best apron you’ve seen?”

“It’s the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen.” Hanzo continued to laugh, shaking his head now. 

McCree’s fist tightened, tipping his hat to cover his face. He stood in silence before running out of the room. “You’ll see, Hanzo! Everyone’s gonna love it!”

Hanzo’s laugh only grew louder, drowning out the sound of cooking in the kitchen.

. . .

They arrived one after another, starting with the ever punctual Satya, followed by Angela (who drove Hana and Lúcio), then Reinhardt and Torbjörn. They entered Hanzo and McCree’s backyard, each greeting their hosts in their own particular way. Hana was particularly excited, bombarding Hanzo with questions about the apron she had got him, demanding he show her pictures of him wearing it. Lúcio tried to calm Hana down, but also pressed on with the questions. 

McCree smiled and shook his head, wondering how those three ever got as close as they did. He placed yet another burger on the grill, seeing as the guests were finally arriving. He looked down and caught a glimpse of the iconic message on his apron and blushed. No one had really brought it up. Well, asides from Satya, who rolled her eyes after seeing it. He just stared at the patties, watching them turn colour slowly, and the sizzling the only thing he heard clearly. It’s not dumb, right? People just haven’t caught on to it. Rein would love it! The big guy is sure to bring it up eventually!

“Jesse!” The high pitched shout brought him back to his senses, looking around aimlessly before being tackled by Lena. “Howdy, ya handsome devil!”

“Lena! I haven’t seen you in ages, lass!” McCree squeezed her back. He looked up after a couple of seconds to see Amé-Widow. She’s Widow now. Widow stood behind Lana, a look of mild disinterest on her face. “How’ve you blokes been?”

Lena giggled at McCree’s attempt at a British accent. “We’ve been great! We brought some snacks for before dinner!” She handed a bag over to Jesse, then looked around at the crowd that was beginning to gather. “Looks like lots of people beat us to first place!”

“Well, y’know how Angela and Satya are about being on time,” McCree joked. “If you want I can fetch you a drin-“

“LENA! MY SUMMER SNOWFLAKE!” Reinhardt lifted Lana in a tight embrace, sweeping her away with him. “HOW I’VE MISSED YOU, LOVE!”

“Or I guess not,” McCree concluded with a sigh. He looked up to see Widow still standing by the entrance. “Oh uh, feel free to sit anywhere. I can fetch ya drink if you’d like?”

Widow stepped closer to him, giving him a peck on the cheek. She stepped back, looking into his eyes. “Just water will be fine for me.”

McCree’s expression was one of confusion and mild disbelief. He watched Widow walk over to a reclinable lawn chair and bask in the sun. He went back to cooking the burgers when it all sank in. He looked down at his apron, then up with a smile wider than any kid on Christmas morning. He scanned the yard, and his eyes met Hanzo’s. His partner, unlike him, looked like he had received a single sock that same Christmas morning, and it wasn’t the right size. His eyes were wide, rage much too light a word to describe what filled them. McCree set down his spatula, moseying over to Hanzo victoriously. 

“Darlin’ I don’t know if you caught that but uh” McCree started, straightening up his apron. “Someone took the offer.” Hanzo looked dead ahead, his pupils darting over to match McCree’s, still filled with a stir of emotions. “And you said it was a stupid apron!”

“Because it IS a stupid apron!” Hanzo let out, his voice tense as to hold back his anger. “It’s a stupid apron and you’re stupid for wearing it.”

“Now, now darlin’, no need to be so sour!” McCree smooched Hanzo’s cheek. “We all make mistakes!”

McCree walked back to the grill, chipper as he could be, looking around with a smile. He bobbed his head lightly to the music, calling out to Lucio to turn it up. Hanzo just looked at him, his eyes sharp needles. “That woman does not know just who she waged war against.” He muttered. “She has no idea.”

Hanzo walked over to Widowmaker, she was leaning back on the chair she sat, skimming through a magazine. He stood by her, glaring, but she remained unmoved. His expression twisted even more at the lack of response. With a deep breath, he composed himself, before clearing his throat. 

“Ah, Hanzo” she let out as she looked up from her magazine. She closed it and put it aside. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Yes, it must be my training,” he responded, annoyance thick in his tone. “Are you having fun?”

“Can’t complain, although I don’t particularly care for these kinds of gatherings.” She looked around, stopping to watch Reinhardt lift Lúcio over his head. “Too loud, not enough danger. You know how it is.”

“Can’t say I do.” He responded coldly. “But you came anyway? To see Jesse?”

A smile curled on her lips. “The cowboy? What makes you think that?” He just glared at her, which she responded to with a chuckle. “Is that what this is about? Hanzo, I didn’t take you for the jealous type.”

“I am NOT jealous,” he said between his teeth. “I just want to know what your intentions are.” 

She chuckled again, shaking her head. “You men are so flimsy. One little kiss has you this riled up? I wonder what would happen if I were to pluck him right out of your arms.”

Hanzo grabbed her by the collar, pulling her closer to him. He looked into her eyes, emotions running wild within him. He came to his senses almost as quickly as he had lost them, looking away and letting go of her. She laughed, standing up from the chair. 

“You are all so predictable.” She said almost consoling him, her hand gently touching his cheek. “You asked me what my intentions were. Just this. Just a little fun to help me pass the time. Thank you for playing along, Hanzo Shimada.” She let go of his cheek, turning away with a wave. “The cowboy is all yours! I’ve got my sights on someone a little more… exciting.” She walked towards the big group, snatching a pair of glasses filled with water from a table. She handed one to Lena, who was watching Reinhardt and Lúcio dance along to one of Lúcio’s songs. She looked back at Hanzo and gave him a wink.

Hanzo had gone from anger to disbelief. Hanzo Shimada, the once heir to the Shimada Clan, fully defeated. He had crawled right into her hands, and she laughed away at his foolishness. Jesse’s teasing comments did not amount to even a fraction of the embarrassment he now felt. Maybe he had been a bit too harsh on Jesse. He looked onto his partner, his mouth stuffed with hotdogs. Hana too, had an innumerable amount of hotdogs in her mouth. Lúcio and the rest chanted along as the two shoved sausage after sausage into their mouths. It wasn’t long until Hana clutched her stomach and fell to her knees, to which McCree cheered triumphantly (muffled, of course, by the hotdogs). Lúcio fell down with a glass of water for Hana, who cursed at McCree in a mix of English and Korean. The cowboy swallowed as much of the food as he could before letting out a hearty laugh. He looked at Hanzo and waved, a bright smile in his face. Hanzo smiled and waved back, his face flushing slightly. McCree might be a ridiculous cowboy, but he was his.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm honestly running dry on these long heynoon's and kinda just thinking of smaller scenarios so??? idk we'll see if i write another one at some point. i've been meaning to write this one for a long time, and the idea came to me even before heynoon2


End file.
